1. Ed Sheeran – Sheerios
I approve of this Ed Sheeran! You could have gone with all sorts of stuff: Ed Heads, The Sheer Sphere, Sheeriacs? But you coped a name from a breakfast cereal both kids and adults enjoy. Smart marketing. When you get Cheerios to release a dyed-red Sheerios, that’s when the big bucks roll in.
2. Megan Trainor – Megatronz
I don’t even know where to start. First of all, you’re naming your fans after an angry, murderous robot. That is neither cute nor all about that bass. Are you trying to get Shia LaBeouf and Mark Wahlberg killed Megan? Second of all what about all the train wordplay you could do: Trainers, Training Days, Cabooses, etc. It’s easy to get derailed, but you get the point.
3. Ellie Goulding – Gouldiggers
She take my money! When I’m in need! Ellie Goulding’s fans are reclaiming this word to refer to people who love high pitched EDM hits. They’re a tight bunch. So when you get asked about your friend whose into Ellie, just say “yeah she’s a Gouldigger, way over town.”
4. Rihanna – RihannaNavy
Who wants a fan army when you can have a Navy? Rihanna named her fans this after they loved her in Battleship (seriously). While everyone else is coming by land, Rihanna is coming at you by sea. Is the final step a concert on a aircraft carrier? If only you could turn back time.
5. Bruno Mars – Hooligans
Oh come on?! Why not Martians? Do you secretly hate your last name Bruno MARS? Besides it being the obvious choice, Martians definitely would help boost NASA’s popularity, and they need it.
6. Beyonce – The Bey Hive
Beyonce is the Queen Bee, we’re all part of her hive. But is that that kind of relationship you want to have with your popstar, a queen to a worker bee? Tending to her needs, spreading her pheromones around? I say I am my own person, we are all the heads of our own hive! But let’s be honest, we would probably all serve Beyonce if we had the chance.
7. Austin Mahone – Mahomies
Who is Austin Mahone? A teen hearthrob, signed to YOUNG MONEY! That’s right, the same label as Lil Wayne and Drake. He took the easy route on his fan name, he could have had fun with Austin and Texas and what not, but good call keeping it simple for the young fans.
8. Ariana Grande – Arianators
The Starbucks ideas are too much with this one. Picture this: you’re Ariana Grande. You walk into Starbucks headquarters, grab a complimentary latte, and you tell Steve Starbucks (CEO) that you want $50 million to call your fans Grande Machiattos. Done. Deal. You’re missing out girl!
9. Sam Smith – Little Sailors
This name actually had thought behind it, as Sam Smith dedicated his fan name to a song he wrote while having trouble in the music industry. He keeps an anchor in his twitter as a symbol for them. I’m just bummed he didn’t go with Smith-ers
10. Demi Lovato – Lovatics
I think you’re stretching it Demi. First of all, you could’ve done something as easy as Lovars, or Lovarz if you want to be cool. Or even Demicrats. Sleep on it Demi, it’s never to late to start with something new.
The takeaway from all this is clear: if you wake up to find you’re a giant celebrity popstar, take some real time to figure out what to name your fans.